Changes
by PennyBassett
Summary: When several big changes unexpectedly step into the Meltsner's life, the three are forced to adjust. Buck also struggles with emotional memories from his past, and whether or not he can trust God.
1. Chapter 1

"Stop! Please! Just stop!" I tried to scream, but I couldn't hear myself. Nothing came out. I was being hit. Over and over again. I couldn't see, but it hurt. My head pounded from the continual beating. I just wanted it to stop. When I thought I wouldn't be able to take any more, the knife dug into my hand. I screamed out in pain. This time I heard myself. With a trembling breath, I was awake.

I sat up, shaking, out of breath, and wet with tears. With vibrating hands, I reached for the damp cloth that was sitting on my nightstand. I held it up to my head, hoping to soak up some perspiration. That's when I started crying again. I'm not sure why, it's fuzzy now. I guess everything just hit me at once. I hadn't been crying for very long when my door opened, and Katrina rushed in.

"Buck! Buck, are you alright?" She asked, gripping my shoulder.

"W-where. Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Mr. Skint! He was here!" I gasped for breath.

"Buck- "

"He was here! He stabbed my hand!" I sobbed, showing her my scarred, but not recently cut palm.

"Buck. Buck listen to me. You're safe. Mr. Skint isn't here. That happened years ago. You're all right!"

"But it still hurts! My hand hurts!"

"Let me see," she sighed, taking my hand in hers. "See. Buck look at it. There's a little scar but nothing else. It was just a dream." She was right. I knew she was right. But I felt like she was wrong. I buried my face in Katrina's shoulder, then was attacked by a new round of confusing sobs. As Katrina stroked my hair, she whispered through a mournful voice, "You're safe. You're safe. Hey, Eugene and I need to talk to you tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, I walked into the dining room with a bowl of cereal.  
"Miss Katrina?" She looked up from her book.  
"Hey, how're you doing?"  
"Better."  
"Good. Did you fall back asleep fine?"  
"Eh, it took me a little while, but I did eventually."  
"Okay. Buck, I think we might want to go back to counseling with Pastor Juan."  
"What? W-why?"  
"Well, your nightmares have gotten more frequent."  
"But my anxiety's better."  
"Hm. So is your depression."  
"Yeah."  
"Okay, we'll hold off for a few weeks." I let out a sigh of relief. Pastor Juan was great, but I hated talking about my problems, and my past.  
"Good. Um, you said you and Eugene wanted to tell me something?" I said, spooning a mouthful of Rice Krispies. Before I finished my question, Eugene walked in and handed out homemade smoothies.  
"Ah, what is the topic of conversation this morning?"  
"Katrina said you had something to tell me." Eugene's eyes bolted and locked with Katrina's.  
"We're telling him now?" She laughed.  
"I thought so. We don't have much time."  
"I suppose that's true." He sighed anxiously.  
"So, we can tell him?"  
"Um, yes."  
"Tell me what?" I asked.  
"Well, a couple weeks ago, Eugene and I went to visit a group home in Connellsville."  
"Why?"  
"Pastor Juan wanted us to come, and meet one of the girls there."  
"Who?"  
"Her name is Elizabeth, and She's five." Eugene answered.  
"Wait- why did he want you to meet her?"  
"He wanted us to see if we wanted to take her on as another foster child." Katrina smiled.  
"And? Are you?"  
"Yes. But we wanted your opinion as well."  
"Oh, I'm all for it."  
"Really?" Eugene seemed pleased, and that made me oddly proud.  
"Of course. I've always thought it'd be cool to have a sibling. Do I get to meet her before she moves in?"  
"Well, you could, but she's coming today." Katrina said, pushing up her glasses.  
"Today?"  
"Tonight, to be exact."  
"But that's so soon!"  
Katrina sighed, "There were paper work complications. As of last night, she can't legally stay at the group home anymore. So, we have a lot of planning to do before we pick her up."  
"What can I do to help?"  
We spent the rest of the day getting the upstairs guest room ready for Elizabeth, or Eliza as most people called her. We went to Janken's new department store and bought new room accessories, clothes, and toiletries. Before we picked her up, we headed to Hall's Diner for dinner.

"They'll be four of us now," I said, realizing the change that was about to invade our home.  
"Mhm," Katrina laughed, glancing at her menu.  
"Can I ask a few questions? About Elizabeth?"  
"Of course."  
"Well first, what's her background like?"  
"Hm. She came from an abusive home. Her mother kept her until a neighbor reported the abuse."  
"You said she was five?"  
"Mhm."  
"Poor thing."  
"Yeah, she really needs a sturdy family," Eugene said.  
"And a sturdy big brother," Katrina added. I smiled.  
We left the restaurant, and drove into Connellsville, anticipation building. By the time we got there, my heart was racing. My stomach turned as Eugene stopped the car. "Nervous?" Katrina asked, getting out. I did the same.  
"Eh, maybe a little." She smiled.  
"Me too."  
"Well, let's go." Eugene said, locking the car. We walked up to the three-story brick building and knocked on the door. A kindly-looking gentleman answered. I didn't recognize him, but Eugene and Katrina did immediately.  
"Jack!"  
"Mr. Allen?!"  
"Hey you two." Hugs were exchanged, as the two marveled at his appearance.  
"We- haven't seen you in- what? Two years?" Eugene said, shocked.  
"Has it really been that long?"  
"Are you volunteering here?" Katrina asked, after we were invited in.  
"Actually, we've taken it over."  
"What? When?"  
"Last week."  
"But how'd we not know you were so close?"  
"We wanted to stay out of the spot light. Have a little quiet."  
"Hm. That's understandable."  
"Oh! Buck! Jack, this is our foster son, Buck."  
"Hey."  
"It's an honor to meet you, Buck. You've been placed with a fantastic family."  
"Yeah. I know." I said, briefly making eye contact with Katrina.  
"Well, come sit down and I'll go get Eliza." He led us into a sitting area that seemed to double as a living room.  
"Alright, just make yourselves comfortable, and I'll be right back." We sat down and waited for about five minutes. When Mr. Allen came back he came in with Elizabeth. She was adorable. She had the biggest eyes of any little girl I'd ever seen. They were tinted red. She'd been crying. I understood. I'd been crying not half an hour before I was released to my new parents. The emotion of being put into a new environment- the overwhelming realization of sudden change was too much for even me to handle.  
Elizabeth wore a thin jacket over a warn tank top, and shorts. A pair of flipflops were the only other thing she had on.  
"Eliza, you remember Eugene and Katrina." She nodded shyly.  
"Hey, are you ready to come home with us?" Katrina asked, smiling. Eliza's face lit up at that question. She smiled and nodded again. She had such a cute smile.  
"And guess what! We brought Buck with us! He's gonna be your big brother while you're staying with us." I could tell she liked that idea, and I had to admit that I did as well.  
"Hi Eliza. I have a present for you." She laughed at my accent.  
"You talk like Toby." I was sure my heart skipped a couple beats. She had an English accent. I looked at Katrina.  
"Surprise." She laughed. I did too, then handed Eliza the present I'd picked out earlier that day. She pulled out the tissue paper and then the gift. A stuffed bear.  
"A bear! Look! A bear!" She showed Mr. Allen giggling.  
"That's just the start of the presents we have for you."  
"Yeah you should see your room!"  
"Okay, well we have some paper work to take care of."  
"Oh, yes." Eugene said, standing up. After the paper work was finished we headed home. Elizabeth was an interesting child. The whole way home she just sat there, stroking that bear on the head, and staring out the window. She was quiet. I knew that wouldn't last long. I knew it was an act. But I'd make sure she wouldn't take as long as I did to put away the façade.


	3. Chapter 3

We pulled into our garage. I was excited. We had more presents waiting for Eliza inside. I was glad we could give her some happy things. She needed happy things. I needed happy things when I was placed. We walked inside.  
"Okay. Eliza, would you like to see your room first?" Katrina asked, getting on her level. Elizabeth nodded, still scared. I smiled. She was going to like this. We climbed the stairs to the room that was a guest bedroom last week. Eugene opened the door.  
"Well? Go on in!" He laughed. Eliza took a few shaking steps into the room, eyes wide. The first thing she said?  
"It's purple." She smiled.  
It was purple. Purple and white. The walls were white with fairy lights hanging from the ceiling. The purple bed, which sat in front of the window at the back of the room, was piled with pillows and Disney stuffed animals. The room also possessed a child-sized desk, a vanity holding a vast collection little girl's makeup and hair accessories, and a corner residing dresser. Eliza couldn't stop smiling and laughing.  
"It's like a princess room!" she whispered, in awe.  
"Well, that's because you're a princess."  
"I am?"  
Katrina nodded.  
"Would you like to see what's in your wardrobe?" She asked, after letting her feel the soft bed. Eliza nodded. Eugene looked at me, then nodded towards the door. We left them alone and walked back downstairs. I went into the kitchen to find a can of the soda left over from my birthday party.  
"Want anything?"  
"Hm? Oh, no thank you." Eugene sighed. "Buck?"  
"Yeah?"  
"May I ask you a question?"  
"Sure."  
"Am I a good father?"  
I paused for a moment. It was an odd question. Finally, I said, "Yes."  
"Why?"  
"Well, because you put mine- and now Eliza's needs and wants before your own. You take time out of your life to spend time with me. And I know that even though you weren't there when I was growing up, you still love me."  
"Hm."  
"Why do you ask?"  
"It's just- I don't know. I suppose I just need to hear that sometimes."  
"I guess don't always do the best job of saying it to you." I set down my soda. "I've never asked this before but-"  
"Yes?"  
"I always thought you were just to intellectual- Can I- "  
"What is it?"  
"Can I give you a hug?" He was clearly caught off guard.  
"Why?"  
"Because I want you to hug me back." He smiled, then took me into his arms.  
"Thank you." He let go.  
"Would more hugs make me a better father?"  
"Maybe…" I said, laughing.  
Suddenly, crying could be heard from upstairs. Eugene and I looked at each other, then ran up, prepared to assist.  
"What happened?" I asked as Katrina closed the door to Eliza's room. I could still hear her crying.  
"I- I don't know. I just touched her shoulder and she started panicking."  
"Like me when I have nightmares panicking?"  
"Not as loud."  
"Gee thanks."  
"You're welcome."  
Katrina and I's relationship had recently developed a comfortable sense of sarcasm. And a day hadn't gone by in a couple weeks where we weren't poking fun at each other.  
"Anyway, she started crying. I thought it was best if I left her alone."  
"No," I said.  
"What?"  
"Can I go in?"  
"I guess. Just- be careful."  
"I will."  
I opened the door, then quietly shut it, and walked over to Eliza. She was huddled on the floor, her face buried in her knees. She was still crying and panting. I sat down across from her.  
"Elizabeth?" I said.  
"Go away," She panted.  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
"No."  
"I understand. My last guardian hurt me, too. It's hard to trust people." She took in a few hard breaths, trying to calm down.  
"Hey, I'll be right back." I went over to the bathroom that had a door going into both our rooms on either side. 'We'll share it now.' I realized suddenly. 'That'll be- weird.' I returned with a box of tissues. Eliza was still trying to calm down.  
"Eliza, look at me." She slowly lifted her head and pushed the hair away that had gotten in her face. She looked up at me with the most beautiful brown eyes.  
"Try to take a deep breath okay? Watch my hand." I lifted it up and down, eventually her breathing matched my hand's rhythm and slowed down.  
"Better?" I asked, handing her a tissue. She nodded.  
"Okay. Did Katrina scare you?"  
"Yeah."  
"You don't have to be afraid of her. She's a safe person. She loves you." I stood up and extended my hand to her. She grasped it and then stood up with me.  
"See this room?"  
She nodded.  
"Well, Katrina and Eugene bought everything in here, just for you! And they didn't have to let us live with them, but they decided to be our parents- at least for now- because they want the very best for us!"  
"Really?"  
I nodded.  
"Hey, it's been a big day, hasn't it?"  
She nodded, yawning.  
"Well, why don't we find a nightgown in that great big wardrobe of yours, and then ask Eugene or Katrina to tuck you in, okay?"  
She took a deep breath. "Okay." I showed her where the nightgowns were and then left the room.

Walking out, I met Eugene and Katrina.  
"She's not crying," Katrina said, shocked.  
"Nope."  
"How- "  
"I guess we just- connected," I said, walking downstairs, back to my soda.


	4. Chapter 4

(From Eugene's POV)  
Eliza ran out of her room wearing a long pink nightgown. She grasped my hand and looked up at me.  
"Mr. Eugene? Will you tuck me in?" I looked at Katrina, who had an 'Oh my goodness could she get any cuter?' look on her face. (Trust me, it's a very distinctive look)  
"Um- absolutely!" I said, honestly happy she'd asked me, while simultaneously terrified that I'd make a mistake in the process.  
"Would you read me a story?" She asked as we walked back into her room. (Her hand still holding mine.) I couldn't stop grinning at the sound of her surprisingly intense cockney accent.  
"Indeed, I will. I believe you will find a plethora to choose from beside your bed." She walked over to the little bookshelf by her bed and looked through them.  
"I can't choose. You pick!"  
"Me?"  
"Yes!"  
"Very well. Hm. How about- this one?" I asked, holding up the book, 'The Three Little Pigs.'  
She gasped. "It's got piggies! I like piggies!"  
"Then, it will be a delightful book for us to read. Huzzah!"  
"Huzzah!"  
"Yes! Now, why don't you get under the covers here, and I will read you this story?" I pulled back the covers, and she crawled into bed, snuggling under the blankets, eyes already heavy. I flipped on the lamp by her bed, turned off the overhead light, then came and sat on the floor.  
"Comfortable?"  
She nodded.  
"Very well." With a clearing of the throat and an opening of the book, I began the tale, "Once, there was a trio of swine…"

Before halfway through the story, Eliza was asleep. I closed the book, put it back in its home, then looked at her. So peaceful. I couldn't help but wonder why anyone would hurt such a beautiful child. Such a precious gift. I exited the room and quietly walked downstairs.

"Katrina?" Eugene snapped me out of my thoughtful daze as he walked into the bedroom. "What if she hates me?" I asked him.  
"Hm? Who?"  
"Eliza. What if she's just scared of me forever?"  
"Now, Katrina, you're smarter than that. The probability of Elizabeth fearing you forever is- "  
"Perfectly plausible. Eugene, kids are impressionable. I could've just destroyed her image on me."  
All I got in response was a groan.  
"Glad to know you're as worried about this as I am." I said, sighing at his distance.  
"Katrina, there's nothing to be worried about! She most likely won't live with us for long and-"  
"She most likely won't stay with us for long? Eugene, you know how much I want a daughter."  
"So do I, but you have to think practically for once- "  
"Are you saying I don't think practically?"  
"Well you do tend to dream a bit…" He chuckled.  
"Wh-why are you laughing?"  
"Because you're being ridiculous! She's only been here three hours and you're already assuming she's going to stay with us forever!"  
"I'm assuming?! I'm thinking ahead…"  
Eugene and I had never argued that much. We fought long into the night and went to sleep not knowing if we had even made the right choice.


	5. Chapter 5

**Katrina's POV**  
"Buck! We're home!" I put my purse on the counter.  
"I'm in the living room!" I went into the living room to find Buck on the couch reading a book.  
"Hey. Look, the Pastor's coming over for lunch, and- "  
"Wait, what?"  
"Pastor Knox. We invited him over for lunch."  
"Oh. What time?"  
"Twelve forty-five."  
"…okay."  
"Is that- alright?"  
"Yeah, yeah you just- you could've given me some warning."  
Ugh. Buck, why can't you just go along with something spontaneous?! Just once!  
"Oh. Sorry, we just didn't have time with everything."  
"It's fine. I get it. I'll be in my room."  
I'm an idiot.  
"Okay."  
"Katrina!" Eugene called from the entryway.  
"Yes?!"  
"Have you started lunch yet?"  
Have I started lunch yet?! I walked through the door two seconds ago!  
"What? No. No, I'm getting to that." I met Eugene in the kitchen and started searching the refrigerator.  
"Very well. However, Pastor Knox will be here soon, and it may behoove you to- "  
"Yes. Thank you, Eugene. I'm about to begin it. Now, did you help Eliza out of the car?"  
"No…"  
"Why not?"  
"Because she got herself out of the car. She's up in her room."  
"Good. Then you can help me make lunch."  
Do something useful for once.  
"Yes- well I actually have an urgent chemistry exam that I need to begin preparing for tomorrow and- "  
I don't care.  
"I don't care. Start cutting those peppers."  
"Katrina, you don't understand. This is a rather important test- "  
How responsible of you.  
"Then you should've prepared for it sooner."  
"Maybe you should've prepared lunch sooner."  
Wow. No. Nope.  
"No. I am not doing this again."  
"Doing what again?"  
"Getting into another petty argument."  
"It's hardly petty! You're keeping me from doing my job!"  
Finally. We agree on something.  
"For half an hour, yes."  
"More than that. I have to sit for lunch as well."  
Great. So, he doesn't even want to have lunch with us.  
"Should we cancel it then?"  
"Probably."  
We did cancel lunch. I made a small meal for the kids and I, and Eugene locked himself in his office for the rest of the day. That night we got into another argument. No. Not an argument. A fight. I said some things I regretted immediately after- however, because of my pride, I didn't apologize. And I wasn't prepared for what would happen next.

Chapter 8  
 **Buck's POV**  
"Buck! We're home!" I was sitting in the living room reading when Katrina called from the doorway.  
"I'm in the living room!"  
"Hey. Look, the Pastor will be here soon, and-"  
"Wait, what?"  
Why does she never tell me these things?!  
"Pastor Knox. We invited him over for lunch."  
"Oh. What time?"  
Like it matters.  
"Twelve forty-five."  
"…okay."  
"Is that- alright?"  
"Yeah, yeah you just- you could've given me some warning."  
"Oh. Sorry, we just didn't have time with everything."  
"It's fine. I get it. I'll be in my room."  
I'm an idiot.  
I dashed up to my room, suddenly feeling crowded. I didn't necessarily mind everyone around, but I had gotten used to the quiet, and wanted it to stay.  
Eliza came up after me.  
"Where are you going?" She asked.  
An odd question…  
"To my room."  
"Oh. Are you going to play?"  
Play with what?  
"I was going to read."  
"Oh. Because you're a big kid?"  
No. Because I like to read.  
"S-Sure. Why?"  
"I-well- see- "  
"Did you want me to play with you?"  
"No. No, you're busy. I'll be in my room."  
"Okay."  
Eliza went into her room. Then my heart did a sudden flip. What had triggered it? Then I heard it again. Eugene and Katrina downstairs. I ignored it. Said it wasn't anything to be afraid of. Couples argue. They just- do sometimes. Then again- no. They're not perfect. I sighed and went into my room, trying hard to forgot what I'd heard. Of course, my thoughts were scrabbled again when I found out that not only was the Pastor no longer joining us for lunch, but neither was Eugene.  
"Miss Katrina?" I asked, picking at my macaroni and cheese.  
"Hm?"  
"Is everything okay?"  
She gave me a look. A look that said, 'No. But I don't want you to worry, and I don't want to scare Eliza.'  
I didn't pry further. I just wish I would've realized enough to anticipate what would happen next.

Chapter 9  
 **Eugene's POV**  
"Alright, Elizabeth. Now if you wish, you may play in your room until lunch is ready."  
"Okay." I followed her inside, then tiredly walked into the bedroom and changed into my casual vest. On the way out, I couldn't hear kitchen noises, as I had hoped.  
"Katrina!"  
"Yes?!"  
"Have you started lunch yet?"  
"What? No. No, I'm getting to that."  
We don't have much time…  
"Very well. However, Pastor Knox will be here soon, and it may behoove you to- "  
"Yes. Thank you, Eugene. I'm about to begin it. Now, did you help Eliza out of the car?"  
Did she just scold me?  
"No…"  
"Why not?"  
"Because she got herself out of the car. She's up in her room."  
"Good. Then you can help me make lunch."  
"Yes- well I actually have an urgent chemistry exam that I need to begin preparing for tomorrow and- "  
"I don't care. Start cutting those peppers."  
You don't care? But I provide for the family by working, and-  
"Katrina, you don't understand. This is a rather important test- "  
"Then you should've prepared for it sooner."  
"Maybe you should've prepared lunch sooner."  
"Ugh. No. I am not doing this again."  
"Doing what again?"  
"Getting into another petty argument."  
"It's hardly petty! You're keeping me from doing my job!"  
"For half an hour, yes."  
"More than that. I have to sit for lunch as well."  
Which I'm still unsure of. Why did we invite the Pastor over now?  
"Should we cancel it then?"  
"Probably."  
We did cancel lunch. I went up to my office, locked the door, and just stared out the window. It was the first time in a long time that I didn't want to be with Katrina. I was a young college student again. Content with sitting alone with my computers most days. Even on holidays. I used to loathe the memory of those nights. The feeling of deep seclusion and fear that was only ever brought to peace with a bottle of anything strong enough to keep me from feeling emotions. Now, they almost seemed welcoming. But the irony of it all was simply too much. Because if Buck knew… I fell asleep at my desk, tormented by thoughts of the past.


	6. Chapter 6

Eugene walked into his whitewashed apartment. A kitchen to his left. His bedroom ahead of him. His head hurt. Or was it his heart?  
"Get a life, Eugene!" He winced as the comment echoed in his memory.  
'Get rid of it! Kill it!' His mind shouted at him. He habitually dragged himself to his room, then to the cabinet above his bed. A bottle was taken down, then opened. An hour later it didn't hurt anymore.  
'The- door? Are friends coming to visit?' Eugene stood up from his desk and opened it.  
"Mr. Walton?"

Bernard shivered from the colder-than-usual weather that had invaded the streets of Odyssey recently. He reluctantly removed a hand from his coat pocket and knocked on Eugene's door. It creaked open to reveal a vestless Eugene standing in the doorway, eyes in a dazed state.  
"Mr. Walton?"  
"Hi, Eugene. Hey, this may sound crazy, but I was just driving past, and I felt like I was supposed to- well check on you. Just to see how things are going."  
"Oh… there just. Fine."  
"Eugene? Are you alright?"  
"Fine. Fine." Eugene stumbled around back through his apartment and fell onto the couch.  
"Eugene! What is- Oh. No." Anger burned. Eugene. The last one he would've guessed to be drunk. But he knew that his intellectually advanced friend wouldn't have just one bottle. He began looking for the rest. Every cabinet in the kitchen, the fridge, then the bathroom, and finally-  
"There it is then." More anger was refreshed as Bernard wasted no time getting every drop out of the house. Just throwing the bottles out the door, letting them shatter against the sidewalk.  
Once the job was done, he turned back to Eugene. He was staring blankly into space. He knew what Bernard had done. And almost looked angry- but not quite. Kind of confused-angry.  
"You took my bottles." He mumbled.  
"That's right. Now- come on Eugene. Put on some shoes, you're coming home with me."  
"What?"  
Bernard practically carried a depressed Eugene to his car and buckled him in. It was going to be a long night.

"Well, Eugene do you want some more pasta?"  
"No thank you, Mr. Walton. And I just wanted to apologize again for my behaviour last night. I'd like to make up for it if I can- I'll pay you- I can- "  
"Now, Eugene, there's no need for that. But," He sighed, "We do need to talk." Eugene nodded.  
"How long has this been going on?" Eugene hesitated for a moment, then, "Four- years, I suppose."  
"Hm. Well, it ends. Now." Eugene was silent for a while. Would he retaliate? Go along with it?  
"How?"  
"Well. There's um, some things we can do. I know a therapist in Connellsville. I'll take you over there to meet him this afternoon if that works for you."  
"It does."  
"Then, for a short-term solution. I want a key to your apartment."  
"…Why?"  
"Because I want you to call me. Every three hours. I don't care where you are. It doesn't matter where I am. Every three hours you're going to call me."  
"What if I don't?"  
"Then I'll call you."  
"What if I don't pick up?"  
"Well, that's why I need a key to your apartment."  
"Yes, sir." A few tears fell but were quickly brushed away. Bernard placed his hand on Eugene's back.  
"I won't tell anyone." Eugene's blue eyes met Bernard's, the colour of fear draining into a tender relief.  
"Thank you so much, Mr. Walton."  
"Don't mention it. Eugene, I'm always here for you. You're- family after all." Bernard smiled. Eugene chuckled a bit.  
"I want to stop," Eugene said assuredly.  
"That's a good start Eugene. That's a good start."


	7. Chapter 7

I needed to work. I needed to drown out Katrina's words that still echoed in my head. I walked down the back hallway of Whit's End to the computer room. The light was on. 'Good. Mr. Whittaker is here. I can talk to him.' I opened the door, and walked into the dim, lamp lit room.  
"Mr. Whittaker?! Oh. Miss Carter."  
She was sitting at one of the computers, working our new inventory program from the look of it. I was glad she was there. I didn't know why, but I was. She didn't have her hair in her normal side French braid. Instead, it flowed over her shoulders in loose curls. I subconsciously admitted she was gorgeous.  
"Oh. Hi Eugene," she sniffed. Crying? A stinging sensation invaded my heart. "If you have to work, I can leave," She sniffed.  
"No!" I swallowed hard, retraining my obvious desperation. "No. You don't need to. Um, why are you crying?"  
"Oh. It's nothing really. I just had a- less than enjoyable conversation with my foster parents." My stomach did a flip at the sentence.  
"F-foster parents? I wasn't aware you- "  
"Was a foster kid? Yeah." She sighed. "But the people I lived with before I moved out are the- overreacting kind. They didn't want me to move here. They said it was a waste."  
"Of your potential?" I asked, pulling up a chair. I didn't know why, but I had to be closer to her. She nodded.  
"I understand." I said, quietly.  
"You do?"  
I nodded. "Not completely. But, I grew up in foster care as well, and when I was older, my birth father didn't feel like I was meeting my full potential."  
Why am I sharing so much? I usually hate talking about- the past. Why am I suddenly a host to the memories of my past?!  
"I'm sorry. I know it's hard." Her hand was suddenly on mine. I tried to ignore it- to treat it as purely platonic. But the action sent chills up my arm anyway.  
"It was. Sometimes it still is." I locked eyes with her. 'What is this? Sexual desire?' The kind I hadn't felt for Katrina in a long time. Another tear fell down Renee's cheek. I was suddenly brushing it away. And then my hand was in her hair.  
"Get back at her!" My mind suddenly shouted at me. And I broke. Renee's lips pressed into mine, and I returned with equal affection. Half of me said to stop, the other half said stopping was impossible. And I didn't. We went further. More. More. More. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop.  
"Revenge" Echoed in my brain. Somehow, we ended up in the guest bedroom that Mr. Whittaker had reserved for hiding or homeless guests.  
We were both topless when-

"EUGENE." Connie. Renee covered herself. I backed into the wall.  
"Connie." I struggled breathe. She was speechless. She didn't say anything at first. What could she say? Then her eyes filled with tears.  
"How could you?" She ran out.  
I was trapped.  
I wanted to hide.  
I wanted to leave.  
I redressed myself as quickly as possible. Not looking at or talking to Renee before running out of the room. If I can bribe her! Beg her not to tell!  
"Connie! Connie, wait!" She turned around. Her face was stained with tears.  
"What?" Anger.  
"I wanted to apologize."  
"A-apologize? Apologize to me? I can't believe you. I honestly cannot believe you."  
"It wasn't what it looked like!"  
"Really? Because it looked an awful like you were cheating on Katrina. You remember Katrina, Eugene. Blond hair, silver eyes, YOUR WIFE!"  
"It- We're not- you can't tell her!"  
"I don't want to tell her."  
I released a breath.  
"Thank you."  
"But I will anyway." She turned around and started walking away.  
I grabbed her shoulder.  
"Miss Kendall- Connie, please."  
She looked into my eyes. Hurt. "Don't touch me." She pushed away and ran down the stairs."  
That was it. It would all be over. Everything.


	8. Chapter 8

I needed to work. I needed to drown out Katrina's words that still echoed in my head. I walked down the back hallway of Whit's End to the computer room. The light was on. 'Good. Mr. Whittaker is here. I can talk to him.' I opened the door, and walked into the dim, lamp lit room.  
"Mr. Whittaker?! Oh. Miss Carter."  
She was sitting at one of the computers, working our new inventory program from the look of it. I was glad she was there. I didn't know why, but I was. She didn't have her hair in her normal side French braid. Instead, it flowed over her shoulders in loose curls. I subconsciously admitted she was gorgeous.  
"Oh. Hi Eugene," she sniffed. Crying? A stinging sensation invaded my heart. "If you have to work, I can leave," She sniffed.  
"No!" I swallowed hard, retraining my obvious desperation. "No. You don't need to. Um, why are you crying?"  
"Oh. It's nothing really. I just had a- less than enjoyable conversation with my foster parents." My stomach did a flip at the sentence.  
"F-foster parents? I wasn't aware you- "  
"Was a foster kid? Yeah." She sighed. "But the people I lived with before I moved out are the- overreacting kind. They didn't want me to move here. They said it was a waste."  
"Of your potential?" I asked, pulling up a chair. I didn't know why, but I had to be closer to her. She nodded.  
"I understand." I said, quietly.  
"You do?"  
I nodded. "Not completely. But, I grew up in foster care as well, and when I was older, my birth father didn't feel like I was meeting my full potential."  
Why am I sharing so much? I usually hate talking about- the past. Why am I suddenly a host to the memories of my past?!  
"I'm sorry. I know it's hard." Her hand was suddenly on mine. I tried to ignore it- to treat it as purely platonic. But the action sent chills up my arm anyway.  
"It was. Sometimes it still is." I locked eyes with her. 'What is this? Sexual desire?' The kind I hadn't felt for Katrina in a long time. Another tear fell down Renee's cheek. I was suddenly brushing it away. And then my hand was in her hair.  
"Get back at her!" My mind suddenly shouted at me. And I broke. Renee's lips pressed into mine, and I returned with equal affection. Half of me said to stop, the other half said stopping was impossible. And I didn't. We went further. More. More. More. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop.  
"Revenge" Echoed in my brain. Somehow, we ended up in the guest bedroom that Mr. Whittaker had reserved for hiding or homeless guests.  
We were both topless when-

"EUGENE." Connie. Renee covered herself. I backed into the wall.  
"Connie." I struggled breathe. She was speechless. She didn't say anything at first. What could she say? Then her eyes filled with tears.  
"How could you?" She ran out.  
I was trapped.  
I wanted to hide.  
I wanted to leave.  
I redressed myself as quickly as possible. Not looking at or talking to Renee before running out of the room. If I can bribe her! Beg her not to tell!  
"Connie! Connie, wait!" She turned around. Her face was stained with tears.  
"What?" Anger.  
"I wanted to apologize."  
"A-apologize? Apologize to me? I can't believe you. I honestly cannot believe you."  
"It wasn't what it looked like!"  
"Really? Because it looked an awful like you were cheating on Katrina. You remember Katrina, Eugene. Blond hair, silver eyes, YOUR WIFE!"  
"It- We're not- you can't tell her!"  
"I don't want to tell her."  
I released a breath.  
"Thank you."  
"But I will anyway." She turned around and started walking away.  
I grabbed her shoulder.  
"Miss Kendall- Connie, please."  
She looked into my eyes. Hurt. "Don't touch me." She pushed away and ran down the stairs."  
That was it. It would all be over. Everything.


	9. Chapter 9

I sat on our living room couch. Liz was in bed… I glanced at the time. One twenty. Buck would be asleep by now. After Eugene and I's argument, my regret had only gotten more severe with time. I didn't want to feel anymore. Eugene had gone to Whit's End, pulling the excuse that he needed to work. But that was over an hour ago now… how did the time go by so fast? The front doorbell rang, breaking me out of my emotionless daze. I forced myself out of my chair, putting on a happy face. Be nice. Be nice.  
I opened the door.  
"Connie." I quickly released my happy expression. Connie's face told me something was wrong. Something was very wrong.  
"Can I come in?" Her voice shook.  
"Of course." My heart was pounding. Did someone die? Whit? Is Whit gone? Is it Jack? Eugene! Is Eugene alright?!  
"Connie/what's wrong?"  
"Maybe you should sit down." I did as she said, practically shaking with fear.  
"I'm- sorry to be the one who has to tell you this…" her voice sort of trailed off.  
"Tell me what? Connie what is it?!"  
"I saw Eugene- "  
"Wh- "  
"Eugene and Renee. Katrina, they were, intimate. Putting it mildly." I couldn't talk. What was she saying? Eugene was angry, yes, but he wouldn't-  
"What exactly do you mean, Connie?" A tear fell from her eye. She struggled to speak for a moment, then,  
"I saw Eugene and Renee… shirtless- "  
"Who."  
"Both of them. Kissing passionately on a bed."  
"Where?"  
"Whit's End. The guest bedroom upstairs."  
"Why would you say something like that? Connie, that's not funny."  
"I know. I'm so sorry Katrina."  
"No. No you're lying Connie! You're lying!" Hot tears streamed down my face.  
"I'm sorry." Connie pulled me into a hug. I had been needing a hug all day- and now. It was all falling apart. Everything. I cried into Connie's arms for an empty amount of time. Wanting nothing more than to wake up from the nightmare I had just been sucked into.  
A few hours later, Connie was stroking my hair, as I rested my head on the pillow in her lap. We didn't say anything. I think we were waiting for him to come home. But it was four in the morning. Nothing. I thought he might've completely left town. Ran away with a college student, ten years younger than me, ten years prettier than me, ten years ahead of me.

I woke up the next morning to Buck tapping on my door.  
"Miss Katrina?"  
"Hm?"  
"Please come to the door." I hazily got out of bed and slipped on my robe. The one next to Eugene's. It took all the energy in the world not to start crying. I took a deep breath, then opened my door.  
"What's going on?" Buck was scared. I was scared. I felt stuck. What do I do? Do I destroy Buck's image of Eugene, or do I not say, causing at least a week of confusion and worry.  
"Well. You and Liz are gonna stay with Connie and Jules."  
"Why?"  
"Eugene and I are going to have to work through some things."  
"Miss Katrina, I'm not a kid. What happened?"  
"Eugene cheated on me." His expression was at first one of shock- then anger-  
"W- What? He- but that's- did I miss something? You were fine. You have a great relationship- "  
"We weren't… And we haven't for a while."  
"But- but Eugene wouldn't do that! He loves you!"  
"You're- not making this easy."  
"Sorry." He took a deep breath. "What can I do?"  
"I don't know. Take care of Elizabeth."  
"Of course."  
"And- don't give Connie too much trouble. She- she's got a lot on her mind too."  
"Okay."  
"Hey, I love you."  
"Love you too. Just- what if you don't work things out?"  
"I don't know. But Connie's waiting."  
"Yeah. Okay. I'll call you though."  
"Okay."


End file.
